After endless rains, warm glowing "sun" appears in cloudless skies
Fairfax residents awoke to a strange sight this morning: a giant glowing orb hovering in a sky shrouded for eons by menacing rain clouds.
"Holy shit!" exclaimed nomad Liam Bowler as he emerged from his makeshift hovel this morning. "It's a giant glowing orb!"
Other Fairfaxians expressed even more profound reactions to the orb. Local hippie leader Matthew Edwards described the orb as "some kind of sphere emanating massive amounts of energy."
"It may seem really close," said Edwards, who founded the Fairfax Circle Center 5 years ago, "but it's actually quite far away. I estimate might be as far as 12 miles."
"Orb Fever" spread rapidly through town today. Local resident Moonbeam Rainbow organized a Praise the Orb rally this afternoon, taking credit for "manifesting" its appearance.
"I watched this movie, The Secret, recently and I was like, God, maybe it's been so grey and rainy because people are focusing too much negative energy on rain and grayness, like they do on war and cancer and all sorts of bad things that happen just because people give them attention, so I was like, I'm going to set my intention on manifesting a giant glowing orb to replace the clouds and warm things up, and then it magically appeared after just 47 days of intending, just like that. I'm such a manifester!"
Rainbow said s/he plans to market a new "energy drink" called "Colloidal Orb Juice," made of water from Mount Shasta cooked by beams of energy from the orb.
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